


The Binds That Tie

by Dolimir



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, virgin!Blair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 13:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim overhears a conversation and contemplates the ties that bind. (Originally published in 2002.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Binds That Tie

Jim Ellison smiled at the gaggle of freshmen girls congregating at the bottom of the cement steps leading into Hargrove Hall. He didn't have to be a sentinel to hear the tittering giggles and comments which followed him up the stairs. Jim chuckled and shook his head as he pulled on the ancient oak door and entered the halls of academia. He wondered with some amusement how his roommate dealt with such adolescent hormones on a daily basis and still kept any semblance of decorum as a teacher.

He was about to descend the stairs that led to Blair's basement office when a pleasant female voice caught his attention.

"Yo, Jim."

He stopped and turned toward the chunky brunette. "Hey, Jesse."

"B's not down there, or, at least, he wasn't five minutes ago when I was looking for him."

"Any idea where he might be?"

"Not a clue. Sorry. Although you might check with Janice. I know he's planning on giving a test this week."

"Thanks, Jesse. Hey, how's Dillon?"

Jesse smiled with pride. "He made the debate team; the only sophomore to make the varsity squad."

"That's great! Tell him I said congratulations, and be sure to let us know if he makes district so Sandburg and I can go to the meet and heckle him."

Jesse laughed in delight. "Deal. Oh, if you find B, tell him I got the tests he graded for me. I definitely owe him a loaf, maybe two. Tell him I'll get them to him no later than Friday."

"Loaf? Of your banana bread?"

Jesse smirked. "Do I make any other kind?"

Jim rubbed his hands in anticipation.

Jesse's watch beeped and she frowned. "Damn. Later, Jim."

"Bye, Jesse. Don't forget the sweet butter on Friday."

Jesse laughed again. "As if B would let you eat any. See you Sunday."

Jim frowned and called after her, "You seem to forget who's in charge."

Her laughter lingered in the hallway as she turned and disappeared down another corridor.

Jim sighed ruefully. Did anyone, either at the university or the department, believe that boast anymore?

He walked down the corridor with a light step then smiled at the sight which greeted him as he entered the main anthropology office.

"Aw, baby. Did you get something stuck in your system? Come on. Give it to mama."

Jim tiptoed to a desk behind the distracted woman, sat on its edge and crossed his arms, waiting, as he watched Janice, the anthropology department's head secretary, carefully extract a ripped piece of paper from the belly of the ancient copy machine, affectionately known as Bess. Janice turned several more knobs.

"Anything else? No? Okay, let's give this another shot."

With that, she flipped two blue handles, stood and shut the front of the machine, smiling as it purred to life.

"Should I tell Tim that someone else is competing for your affections?"

Janice spun to face Jim, her face burning red with embarrassment. "Jimmy! How long have you been sitting there?"

He grinned mischievously at her. "Long enough."

"Bess is very sensitive," Janice said defensively, as she gently petted the machine behind her. "I have to baby her; none of the ingrates around here truly appreciate her value."

Jim laughed. "Poor Tim. What will he say when he realizes he could be replaced by a machine?"

Janice opened her mouth to protest, but snapped it shut and grinned wickedly at Jim. Understanding flooded through Jim instantly and he felt his own face burn. Janice licked one finger and scored a mark in the air, indicating who had won that particular round.

"I'm seriously outgunned," he moaned pitifully.

"There, there." Janice smirked as she twisted and punched the green start button, then turned back to face Jim. "I've had a lot more practice with students, TAs and professors." She closed the distance between them and patted his cheek. "So what can I do for you, hon?"

"I'm looking for Sandburg. Any idea where he might be?"

Janice frowned slightly.

"I'm just playing hokey, sweetheart, and was wondering if he wanted to join me. There's nothing wrong," Jim quietly assured her.

Janice looked relieved. "He's not in his office?"

"Not according to Jesse."

"Hmm. He was here about fifteen minutes ago to drop off a packet that needs to be copied for his 203 class tomorrow. I told him it would probably take an hour since Kirsten is running an errand for Professor Beard. You might check the student lounge on two. Since he doesn't have office hours today, he might be playing hokey himself while he's waiting for the tests.

"Thanks, Janny." Jim leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll leave you and Bess alone now."

"Oh, you." Janice laughed and playfully shoved him toward the door. "Hey, Jimmy," she called out, just as he entered the corridor.

Jim turned and looked at her expectantly.

"Sunday at two. Tim's counting on you to help with the grilling, and remind Blair he promised his raspberry brownies _and_...you're on my team this time."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." He waved, then headed down the hall and pondered the direction his life had recently taken.

If anyone had told him two and a half years ago that he’d be knee deep in academia he’d have thought they were nuts. And yet, he was on a first name basis with most of the anthropology professors and TAs and he had nodding acquaintances with professors from a half-dozen other departments.

He wasn't the only cop to be sucked into the life either. During a murder investigation, his friend Tim Wilson, a detective from Homicide, had first spied Janice, who had the unfortunate luck of finding the body of Professor Emily Watson during an interesting case involving treasure. Through Sandburg's yentaing, the two were now a happily married couple with one-year-old twins. Lee from Vice was dating a psych grad student and Ballard from IA was dating the Dean's administrative assistant. A part of Jim wanted to believe they were all coincidences, but he knew better.

As deeply as Blair had immersed himself into the police subculture, he had, in turn, immersed Jim, and those around him, into academia. However, Jim got the impression that while everyone at the station considered Blair his partner, Jim was considered something more than just a roommate at the university. A couple of times he thought he might have a handle on just what it was, but it always seemed to slip through his grasp before he figured it out.

Jim stopped as he reached the top of the stairs and spied his guide sprawled over an ancient stuffed chair in the corner lounge almost half a building away, laughing loudly over something one of his friends said. Jim looked at the small group of TAs sitting in an outcropping of chairs, obviously shooting the bull. He recognized everyone in the group as long-time friends of his roommate: Dana White, Mike Stone, Thomas Orser, Danny Ashlock and Danny's little brother, David, who was a junior.

If pushed, Jim would never be able to verbalize why he did what he did next, but he found himself fascinated by the carefree state of his friend. While Blair was always open and cheerful around him, Jim had the feeling that the grad student was never completely relaxed around him, as if he was following some sort of strange Sandburg _guest_ rules.

Jim slid against the wall and found a chair. It was time to observe the observer.

"Burg, you need to put this whelp in his place," Thomas barked out in laughter.

Blair waved his hand dismissively.

"Come on, B. Tell me you can top that story." David turned and gave Sandburg a fairly good rendition of puppy dog eyes.

Blair ignored the younger man as he turned to Thomas. "Why, Thomas, I don't have a clue what you're talking about. I’m always a model of decorum and professionalism when out in the field."

The group sat in stunned silence for several heartbeats before they burst out laughing and began throwing popcorn and paper wads at him.

"Okayokayokayokayokay." Blair laughed as he swatted a piece of paper aside. "Which one to tell? Which one to tell? Oh, I know." Blair scooted to the edge of his chair and dropped his voice, forcing the group to scoot closer.

"Five years ago, I was with Eli in New Guinea."

"You mean the cannibal trip?" David asked in awe.

Blair nodded solemnly. "While the tribe did occasionally deal with the outside, they had never dealt one-on-one with white men before. It was a huge coup for Eli to be granted an audience with their chief. In all, it was Eli, me, Robinson, Taylor and Mike. No females were allowed.”

“Why not?” asked David.

“It was way too dangerous. Hell, I’m not even sure we should have gone.” Blair waved his hands indicating that he was moving on. “My job was to try to get stories out of their shaman. Mike, you were dealing with the warriors, right?" When his friend nodded, Blair continued, "We were only allowed one week with them, so our time was precious. Kuraska, who headed the Japanese program, briefed us for almost two weeks because, quite literally, if we made one wrong move we could be dinner as opposed to dinner guests."

The TAs around him shivered.

"As it turned out though, we had a great time. The Chief was taken with Eli and the shaman and I were inseparable. We talked so much that our first translator went hoarse and we had to get another."

"But..." Danny prompted with a lazy drawl.

"Well, it turns out the shaman's daughter was fascinated with the concept of the outside world. She desperately wanted out of her village and off their island."

The group groaned as one and flopped dramatically back into their chairs.

"Damn, any more there seems to be one in every village," Dana complained. "I wish they'd realize how lucky they truly are."

"Oh, give me a break, Dana." Danny sighed. "Why don't you just stay home, barefoot and pregnant?"

"Why you little--"

"Guysguysguysguys," Thomas interrupted. "You two can continue your lover's spat later. Right now, I want Burg to quit teasing and get to the dirt."

Blair laughed and raised his hands as if warding off his friend. "Well, as you can imagine, while dad is showing me around, daughter's in the background doing the equivalent of batting her lashes."

"Equivalent of batting her lashes?" David asked curiously.

"She was already nude, wasn't she?" Dana asked quietly. Blair nodded. "It's not like she could flash a little flesh his way to gain his attention because New Guinea cannibals don't wear clothes," Dana explained quietly to the younger boy as if the idea shocked and appealed to her at the same time.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" David gasped and crossed himself. "How can you ignore something like that?"

The group frowned at Danny's brother.

"Now wait a minute," Blair said, holding up a hand and cutting off his friends before they could say anything to the younger boy. "David hasn't been out in the field yet, so cut him some slack."

Blair smiled gently at David and Jim was struck by the thought that Blair really was a teacher, not just by profession, but by choice and passion as well.

"The first thing you have to keep in mind, David, is the fact that natives don't even consciously register their nudity. We're the freaks for wearing clothes that stick to our bodies and make us uncomfortable. Secondly, after a while, you truly don't even register their lack of clothes. And thirdly, there's a huge contrast in how different cultures define beauty. It's not like we're talking about Elle MacPherson or Naomi Campbell. We're talking about women who don't wash their hair, who don't blink when a bug crawls up their arm, who sit in the dirt. It's not that they aren't beautiful in their own way, but as an anthropologist you're an observer, not an active participant in village life. You have to be able to stay focused on your observations."

Mike Stone chimed in, "Also daddy might eat you if you stare too long."

Blair laughed. "And believe me, that's definitely a deterrent. So while I was aware of her trying to gain my attention, so was her dad."

"Uh-oh," Dana said quietly.

"Uh-oh?" David asked, looking around the group with big eyes.

"Yeah. Uh-oh." Blair grinned. "I can see Dad weighing the option of binding his twelve-year-old daughter to me as a wife as an act of goodwill between our peoples."

"Uh-oh," the group said together.

"I can also see one of the warriors watching Daddy watching his daughter as well."

David covered his face with both hands and shuddered. "Oh, man, weren't you scared?"

Blair grinned at the boy. "I was terrified out of my mind. It was like watching a train race toward a cliff and being powerless to do anything to stop it."

"So what did you do?" Dana asked, her curiosity obviously getting the best of her.

"Well, I was definitely in a jam." Jim watched his friend run his fingers through his hair. "Dad saw me as an equal, a fellow shaman. In his eyes, the union would bring honor to his tribe. His daughter obviously wanted it, but he was still weighing the pros and cons of making such a decision. So I decided to make a preemptive strike."

Jim could tell who had heard the story before by watching who was leaning forward and who was watching the faces of those leaning forward.

"I figured if Dad was going to make an announcement, he'd do it during our final dinner. And I knew that no matter what the outcome was, I was toast. If I refused his daughter, I'd be giving him and the tribe a mortal insult. If I accepted, then the after-dinner entertainment would have been the tribe watching a jealous warrior skewer me like a boar."

"So?" David prompted impatiently when Blair stopped to take a sip of his coffee.

"So I had a vision fit during dinner."

Even from where he sat, Jim could see Blair’s cheeks pinking with embarrassment.

"A what?" David asked.

"It means I threw myself on the ground in the middle of our final dinner like I was having a seizure."

"He scared the crap out of us," Mike Stone said quietly, though he smiled at Blair. "I thought he was choking to death."

Blair cleared his throat. "After my little display, I picked myself up and demanded the shaman's daughter be brought to me. The whole village was watching by this point, so I demanded the warriors be brought to me as well. Once they were all standing around me, I began to chant."

"And sway," Mike added. "I swear I thought you were going to fall over."

"Shit, Mike, my knees were knocking so bad I could barely stand." Blair laughed self-depreciatively. "After walking around each warrior, I spun in the center of the group, then stopped and pointed to the love-struck warrior. I declared to all assembled that my god, Yahweh, was pleased by our time spent with their tribe and wished to give them a special blessing to show that he approved of our alliance. I told the tribe that Yahweh had looked into the hearts of their warriors and had found one with whom he was especially pleased him. Yahweh demanded that the shaman's daughter, who was strong of spirit and body, be bound to him in our name. Together, they would bear strong children who would bring great honor to their tribe and to our alliance. I asked that Yahweh's request be granted in the spirit of our newly-founded brotherhood."

"Wow!" David looked stunned. "You were seriously fucking with the prime directive, man."

Everyone, including Blair, threw popcorn at the younger man.

"Hey, he could go to hell for impersonating a holy person," David said, trying to sound indignant, but ended up laughing instead.

Blair smirked. "Jews don't believe in hell, David."

Thomas flicked his hand dismissively at the younger men at the same time. "He _is_ a holy man."

"So what happened?" Dana demanded.

"What do you mean _what happened?_ The warrior was ecstatic, the blessing thrilled the chief and I got to keep my head. Thank you very much."

"But what about the shaman?" Dana pressed.

"He blessed the union on the spot and declared our group blood brothers," Mike interjected, cutting Blair off. "And as we were leaving the village the next day, he told Eli that B would one day become a powerful shaman and that we were truly blessed to have one so wise as part of our tribe."

"He knew," Dana whispered in awe.

"Knew? Knew what?" David demanded.

"He knew what Blair pulled and basically gave him his blessing," Dana said, looking at Blair with a new respect.

"He knew," Mike confirmed.

"Damn, Burg," Thomas said in quiet shock, then slid out of his chair and prostrated himself in front of Jim's guide. "We're not worthy. We're not worthy."

The group exploded into laughter. At first, Blair looked embarrassed, but then made a big point of slowly putting his feet on Thomas' back and yawning as if bored.

When things calmed down, Mike gently shoved at Blair's arm. "You ought to tell them the harem story."

"Harem story?" Dana asked, frowning.

"I'm betting you've never told Jim the harem story," Danny teased, shoving Blair from the other side.

"Man, Jim already thinks I'm a dog. Can you imagine what he’d think if he ever heard the word _harem_ from me?"

"You, a dog?" Dana blinked in surprise. "Now why in God's name would he think that?"

Blair blushed and looked distinctively uncomfortable.

"Blair, what have you told that man?" Dana demanded.

"I haven't told him anything," Blair protested weakly.

"Then why--"

"I may have implied..." Blair shrugged.

"What? Why?" Mike asked, surprised.

Blair groaned, covered his face with his hands and leaned forward.

"Burg?" Thomas asked.

Blair took a deep breath and released it slowly as he sat up and removed his hands. "Look. Jim's a cop. He's very...I don't know...I thought it would help us bond."

"If he thinks you're a dog--" Dana started.

"Okay, I implied a lot."

Mike laughed out loud. "I take it you haven't told him about St. Sebastian's?"

Blair shifted in his chair. "Well, yes and no."

The group leaned forward, expectantly, as one.

"Well, I took him to St. Sebastian's last year. I told him I’d spent time there."

"And?" Thomas prompted.

"And that was it," Blair said, semi-defiantly.

"You didn't tell him you almost took the vows?" Danny asked quietly.

Jim started in surprise, but remained silent.

"Isn't he Jewish?" David asked in confusion.

"Blair, why not?" Dana asked quietly, non-judgmentally, overriding the younger man's question.

Blair dropped his gaze to his lap.

"Oh, shit, B. You went native."

Blair lifted his head to protest, but no sound came out. Finally, he dropped his chin and nodded.

"Are you saying Sandburg's a virgin?" David asked incredulously.

Danny swatted his brother's head, hard. "Do you want to yell it a little louder? I'm sure people on three didn't hear you."

"But...but...but...what about the harem?" Danny protested.

"He was responsible for getting an American girl out of a Saudi harem," Mike said, frowning at the boy. "But that's a story for another time."

"But I don't understand. How can he be a vir...you know?"

Blair chuckled. "Look, you know I started college when I was sixteen, right?"

"Right."

"And who do freshmen girls date?"

"Upperclassmen," David said with dawning understanding.

"Exactly. But when I was an upperclassman, I was only eighteen; and girls, unfortunately, were still looking for older men. I got my bachelor's right after I turned nineteen. When I got into the master's program, I wasn't even old enough to buy beer or get into twenty-one bars, so I decided to focus on my studies." He laughed. "Like I had a lot of choice. Besides, I was driven. I didn't really have any time to fool around. After earning my master's, I was burned out and decided to go to St. Sebastian's. I...that is...I just..."

"David, go get me a coke," Danny said as he pulled a bill out of his pocket. "One from the student union."

"Awww, Danny," the boy protested, but the look on his brother's face convinced him not to argue. He sighed. "I never get to hear any of the good stuff."

For a brief moment, Jim panicked; afraid he was going to get caught by the junior. But David shuffled off to the stairwell closest to the lounge.

The group watched the boy leave, then, as one, turned and faced Blair.

Blair sighed heavily. "Look, guys, it's not that big of a deal."

"What else haven't you told him, B?" Mike asked, softly.

"Mike it's not like that."

"Does he even know you're a shaman?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" Thomas demanded.

Blair leaned back in his chair and dropped his head on the top of the seat cushion. "Well, it should have been pretty self-evident when Incacha passed over his way of the shaman to me."

"You can't beat yourself up about that, Burg," Thomas said quietly. "And hey, you did guide Jim to his animal spirit."

"After fumbling badly."

"You're guiding him?" Dana asked, startled. "What about your objectivity? What about your studies?"

Blair groaned and brought his hands up to cover his face again. "What objectivity?" Blair muffled through his hands.

"But--" Dana protested.

"Look, Jim's the only known sentinel in the modern world," Mike cut her off. "He needed a guide. What was B supposed to do? Hey, sorry about your problems, man, but I have to stay detached in order to finish my thesis. Get real, D. B's a shaman. He didn't have any choice."

Jim shifted uncomfortably in his chair. While he knew that less than a dozen people knew about his abilities, he was still uncomfortable with hearing about them spoken aloud and with such casualness. It was much easier to live at the police department with the fiction that Blair was studying closed societies; but he knew it would be insane to have Blair try to deny his studies within his own department.

"But your thesis," Dana mourned.

"Don't worry, D," Blair said quietly. "I always land on my feet. You know that."

"Have you bonded yet?" Thomas asked quietly, almost as if embarrassed to ask the question.

Blair shook his head.

"What?" Danny asked in a loud voice.

Blair chuckled. "And how exactly would you have me broach that particular topic with Jim?"

"I..."

"That is..."

"You could..."

"Well, shit."

"Exactly," Blair said quietly.

"What are you going to do?" Dana asked.

"I'm not sure." Blair shrugged. "I do know that I'll guide him for as long as he needs me."

"But what about what you need, Burg?" Thomas asked. "Didn't you tell us that shaman who bind themselves to sentinels eventually need them as badly as the sentinels them? I mean, come on, man. I remember how freaked out you were about that little tidbit."

"But listen to what you just said, Thomas. _Shaman who bind themselves._ I told you, Jim and I haven't bonded, so I'm okay." Blair looked into the faces of his unconvinced friends. "At least for now."

"Could you take that final step, B? To bind yourself to him...if it came down to it...knowing what it involves?" Mike asked quietly.

Blair closed his eyes briefly, then looked at his friend. "I don't know, Mike. I honestly don't know."

"Man, you're seriously fucking with the cosmos," Danny said quietly.

"Oh, quit being so dramatic. Sandburgs always land on their feet. How do you think we've survived as long as we have?" Blair looked at his watch, then slapped his thighs and stood. "My hour's up. I'm gonna see if Kirsten's done with my tests yet. You guys--"

Jim stood as non-conspicuously as he could and slipped down the stairwell, his mind reeling with what he had heard, and pondering what was implied but not actually said. As soon as he reached the ground floor, he stopped. He couldn't leave. Janice would tell Sandburg that he’d been looking for him.

Sighing, he turned and jogged up the stairs, all but running into his partner on the landing.

"Jim!" Blair reached out to steady his sentinel. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

Jim blinked. "I'm...uh...playing hokey...and was wondering if you'd like to join me?"

Blair's smile was brilliant as he playfully slapped Jim on the back. "That, my man, sounds like an excellent idea. Have you had lunch yet?" He took Jim by the elbow and guided him down the stairs.

"Not yet."

"What do you think about Jose's? I'm buying."

"You're buying?"

"Don't sound so shocked. I buy...occasionally."

"What did you do? Rob a bank?"

"Very funny, Shecky." Blair tried to sound annoyed, but his smile ruined the effect. He grabbed Jim's sleeve to stop him, then popped his head into Janice's office. "Janny?"

"Kirsten hasn't gotten to it yet, Blair. I'll have her put them in your box when she's done."

"You're a goddess."

"I know." The secretary grinned. "Remember. Sunday. Brownies. Two p.m."

"Got it."

"Oh, and Jimmy's on my team this time."

"What? No way."

"You can have Professor Dial."

Blair whimpered playfully. "Oh, all right. See you then." Blair gently pushed Jim. "I just need to stop by my office for a second, then we can go."

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jim thoroughly enjoyed his afternoon. Sandburg was as good as his word and bought lunch, even going so far as not to tease Jim about his selections. They’d gone home afterward; but instead of going up to the loft, they spent several hours just walking leisurely by the bay and talking. Jim was aware of Blair subtly testing him, but realized he really didn't mind.

Sandburg was his shaman. It was his job to keep Jim in prime condition. It was a job the student took very seriously. And yet, according to Blair and his friends, they hadn't properly bonded; hadn't achieved everything they possibly could.

Sitting on the balcony and enjoying his beer later that evening, Jim wondered if he knew his partner at all.

He was curious as to why Sandburg thought it necessary to obfuscate about his virginity. He knew he wouldn't have thought any less of his guide had he known. Sure, he might have teased him a bit, maybe tried to set him up on a date or two. He shook his head. No, that wasn't right. Sandburg went on dates. He just hadn't bedded any of them.

Jim was startled by the fierce satisfaction which filled him. Sandburg hadn't slept with Samantha, despite his _implications_. Jim examined his emotions and found himself growling at the mere thought of his guide being with anyone else in a physical manner.

He shook his head. The unease in the pit of his stomach didn't make any sense. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 _”Enqueri.”_

Jim remembered Incacha's lilting voice and tried to focus on the memory trying to reinsert itself.

 _”Enqueri.”_

 _Firm hands gently touched his face... from beneath him._

 _Jim opened his eyes, not to the skyline of Cascade, but to the dark confines of his hut in Peru._

 _“I am not the one, Enqueri.”_

 _Jim leaned down and kissed the man beneath him, trying to convince him otherwise._

 _“I am not your guide. I am merely a teacher.”_

 _However, Jim would not be swayed, and continued his sensual assault on the shaman. He could feel the warrior's resistance weakening. It was just a matter of time before..._

 _“No! Enqueri, No!”_

 _Incacha had pushed him, hard, making him roll off the mat on which they had been lying._

 _“We cannot bind our souls together. You are meant for another.”_

 _Jim watched the pain in his friend's eyes as he spoke the words knowing the words were becoming a wall between them._

 _“I have seen the wolf. He is young. Strong. With him, you will be powerful. Only with him will you be whole.”_

Jim opened his eyes, remembering.

In order to bind himself to Sandburg, they would have to have sex.

And Sandburg was a virgin.

"Well, isn't this just a fine kettle of fish, Stanley."

*-*-*-*-*-*

Jim stood just inside the balcony door and watched his partner putter around the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, making sure he had all the ingredients for his baked-from-scratch brownies.

From the moment they’d met, Sandburg had acted as his personal shaman. Hell, the second time they met, Sandburg had saved his life, and after that...his sanity.

Jim wondered briefly what it would be like to have Blair leave him and found the mere thought too painful to entertain. His partner, his shaman, his guide was meant to walk by his side through all things; and in order to do that properly, they had to bond. Jim held that concept up to the light, knowing what it would entail, knowing what it implied, and found he was okay with the idea. More than okay, actually, it felt right...it felt like forever.

He moved silently into the kitchen and stood behind his partner, smiling when Blair turned and walked into his chest.

"Geez, Jim. Give a guy some warning, would ya?"

Jim didn't say anything, but simply reached out and placed his hand over Blair's heart.

His partner blinked at him in confusion, then shook his head and smiled as if just getting the joke. He turned at a slight angle to walk around Jim, but frowned when Jim moved with him.

"Is something wrong?"

Jim shook his head.

"Do you want something?"

Jim nodded.

Blair looked up at him expectantly, then chuckled in amusement. "You're going to have to give me a hint here, man."

Jim leaned forward ever so slowly and gently brushed his lips over his guide's. For a moment, he lost himself in the warm sweetness that was his partner. While he kept one hand over Blair's heart, he brought the other one up into his guide's hair, holding him close.

Blair moaned quietly into his mouth, then jumped back as if burned. "Wha- what's going on, Jim?"

"Bind yourself to me, shaman," Jim whispered.

Blair's eyes widened as he took a step away from Jim. "You...you don't know what you're saying."

"Don't I?" Jim stalked closer.

Blair skipped back a step and raised a hand. His eyes were wild and his breath stuttered. "Are you...are you okay, Jim?"

Jim smiled, which seemed to make his partner shiver. Trust Sandburg to be concerned about his sentinel even though he was scared out of his mind. "Yes."

Blair slowly moved around the kitchen island, but Jim kept pace with him, refusing to let anything get between them. "Did...did something happen outside?"

Jim shrugged. "I remembered something from my time in Peru."

Blair stopped his retreat, his curiosity piqued. "What?"

"I remember trying to bind Incacha to me, but he wouldn't let me."

Blair frowned. "Why not?"

"He said he wasn't the one."

As if remembering that he had been trying to get away from Jim, Blair took another step backward, toward his room. "And...and you think now that I might be the one?"

"You're the guide."

"Yes, but am I _the_ guide?" Blair winced as he bumped into the French doors.

"Yes." With that Jim moved forward and brought his hands up to frame his partner's face, then kissed him possessively. Blair stumbled back into his room, but Jim never let up the sensual assault, not even when his guide hit his bed with the back of his knees and plopped onto the mattress.

Blair wrenched his head away, breathing heavily. "Jim. Jim, listen to me."

Jim hummed, letting his guide know that he was listening, even as he sniffed the juncture of his neck and shoulders.

Blair sighed, and it was the sadness of the sigh that caught Jim's attention. He pulled back and looked into his guide's face.

"Don't you want to bond?"

"Yes." But Blair's gaze didn't meet Jim's.

"But?" Jim prompted.

Blair shook his head.

"But?"

Blair raised his eyes and Jim saw the want, the need, but not for sex, not even for the bond, but for Jim himself.

"I love you, Blair Sandburg," Jim said simply.

Blair looked startled, and opened his mouth to say something, but Jim covered his lips with an index finger.

"I want us to walk through life together, joined as one. I want you to give me a hard time about what I eat when I'm ninety. I want to spend the rest of my life trying to figure out who you are and why you chose me."

Blair's smile was brilliant as he spoke beneath Jim's finger. "I chose you because I love you, too."

"Convenient that, no?"

Blair chuckled.

"Mine," Jim said quietly, once again placing his hand over Blair's chest.

"Yours."

Jim tenderly lowered himself on top of his guide, feeling his mind merge into the colors that were Blair's soul even as his body began to merge with his guide's, hearing the joyful echoes of his mate's heart, and reaching for the bond that would finally make them whole.

\-- End --

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever been bushwhacked by a muse? There I was, writing a nice little gen birthday snippet for a friend of mine, when all of a sudden my slash muse jumped forward and wrenched the story from me. This story didn't end anywhere close to what I had intended. I think debraC and Beth looked over the story. but my memory is shot, so I'm not sure.
> 
> One bad word used twice. Two repeat original fiction characters used: Jesse (from my gen story "The Day After") and Janice (from my gen story "Through Another's Eyes"). Like I said, this was supposed to be a gen story.


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